Thursday, November 29, 2007

Betrayal or not in Second Life?

We are all having fun in Second life, in one way or another, otherwise we wouldn't be on the grid, I assume.
In those several months that I am a "player" in Second Life, I hear more about people leaving SL, due to their relationship in RL.
I have lost already some dear friends, because their real life partner had found out some actions on their PC, which were not "proper". And with these actions I don't necessarily mean SLex, but just having good times with an avatar of the opposite sex, by talking or/and accompanied.
The question is, are we betraying our partner in RL, by just having some unforgettable times, by just being able to forget the RL problems for just a little while?
Because, let us be honest, we all have some troubles in RL, minor or big, and SL is helping us to forget them just a little bit. We are able to find new skills, to explore the wonderful world of SL in all its means etc..., and that is a lot more amusing, to do with a friend.
And if it happens to be with an avatar of the opposite sex, would that mean that we are betraying our partner in real life?
To my opinion, most of the time, the partner does not "play" in Second Life, and that is why they don't understand what is going on, and what real friendship means in SL. And yes, that can be a bit more than saying "Hi" and "Goodnight", but is that betrayal?
But everyone still have feelings, and those feelings are of course also there with our partners, only...they don't know about Second Life. And if the first life is difficult enough, than why making it more complicate than it already is?
So at the end, we are not helping ourselves by running towards Second Life, we are creating more difficulties. Instead of finding some peace in SL, we will not be able to forget the problems from real life.......we are creating even more problems.
Conclusion of it all: stay out of Second Life!!;))


Casius said...

Is that a punchline or an abrupt and easy answer to an important and complex question?

For those who surf porn (and I imagine there might be at least one of you in the audience, men and women) - is that betrayal? Some think so.

Would it be betrayal if the person in the photo could interact with your photo and talk back? Some might think so, but most people simply tilt their heads and go "huh?".

I can't wait until avatars can be convincingly run by computerized AIs. Imagine the confusion of falling for your online Second Life companion that is "programmed" to be your perfect personality and sexual match - and learns what you like.

Maybe your conclusion is best... "stay away - if you can"

Looker Lumet said...

yes, that will be the future,I can imagine, and than this issue will get more complex.
And for most of us, who are interested in the progress of virtual worlds, will have difficulties, not to log in in such a world and to taste it. So, indeed, " stay away - if you can".

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean looker
its not so easy to "stay away"


Winter said...

I rather say go after your dreams, who knows? They may come true :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Looker,

If you are shagging somebody else his/her partner in RL that is betrayal. If you do it in you dreams? Can they sue you? Don’t think so. Are we on the grid to dream or do we come knowing that it’s a good way to find the one? Where do I draw the line? That’s the question you must ask yourself!

If you look at SL-Platform as a game, it means you need a (to) score. Some people see the counting of there money as a way to make a hi-score, others like to do that in collecting female/male avatar-contacts. But in comes the feeling, the need for love and respect, because we are not robots sitting at the keyboards. And thank god for that. Because if we was to play without feelings, what would SL be like? RL?

And like in RL: people come and people go. But we remember them and they stay in our hearts.

Whatever the situation in RL, in SL we can make the dreams real. Where in the hell would a 41 year old woman like me have a conversation with, let’s say a 24 year old lead singer of a well known band? Dance all night? Meet her soul-mate? Talk to a passing persona and making perhaps a RL friend? Meeting people from all-over the world? And that in one night?

I met lots of couples playing SL, Looker. Making other dreams come true. Playing together they have there problems as well as we do.

Like many others I find my peace in SL and I am not staying out!!! NO WAY!!!! Hope you don’t either??? :)



Joonie Jatho said...

Looker, this is a great post.

Stay out of SL? no way! Take a break? great idea! :)

Only the individual can answer whether or not the actions they take in SL can be called betrayal. I would not begin to try to be the moral ruler of the SL planet. I change my mind too much over the course of a day! LOL

Meeting new ppl from around the world and learning about there culture is profoundly important, imo, given the way the world is today. So if we can broaden our view of the world and have fun at the same time...that is an awesome thing!

Hope you aren't leaving. You have too much to contribute to that world.

Hugs! Joonie

Looker Lumet said...

Thank you Freg, Winter, Inex and Joonie for your contribution to this post. Although it was a general question, with no specific meaning tow&rds someone in particular, it is always interesting to see other one's view to Second Life. And to be honest, I have no intention to leave Second Life, never had, as me too, just as Inex, find peace in SL, and love to meet new experiences, people etc...

Zippora Zabelin said...

*runs to the button to finish her SL account* no, NOT!
It isn't always easy to cope with the feelings that SL cause (you can expect a post about relationships on my blog soon).
I don't see it as a game, but as a life, and like in our first life emotions are involved. That is actually one of the wonderful things, to my opinion. It makes you feel "alive" ;-)

Zippora Zabelin said...

Just posted my entry about relationships :)