Wednesday, March 19, 2008

About Second life

You have probably noticed…my articles are not as frequently as they used to be. Well, the reason for that is that I am more active in RL lately, and I don’t find the time to go through all the different blogs to find interesting stuff to write about.

What I have been reading lately are more romantic related articles on different blogs, and although those articles are mostly personal, sometimes you will find some true stories about feelings in Second Life. On the other hand, you can read articles about new words, new meanings, like “polyamory”. It is ofcourse always interesting to find out about new directions, new terrains, where we did not even know about.
Well, we did already know, that for every action we do, new words are coming with it. Read all about it on Cyndy Kesey’s blog.

Some of us are or were going through difficult times in SL relationships, and found it necessary to tell the whole world about their feelings and experiences, but when all good things come to an end, those feelings remain on the internet. They are only aware of this after a while, but then realize that they had perhaps better not wrote these articles on their blog.

It is always risky to write on your blog like you would do in a diary. The diary remains secret, as long as you want to, the blog… public domain, and will remain on the net for always, even if you delete your blog, as pieces will always stay somewhere between this byte and the other.

Finally, Zippora wrote an article , related to all the above ones, but being rational, although realizing that she is walking on the edge, but still knowing that RL is more important and SL is more living in our brains and minds.
As long as you don’t loose that perspective, there is nothing wrong, I think.

What is frightened is a story, which I missed on television, about a mother of four, married, living in the States, being for 18 hours a day on the grid, and now leaving her husband and kids, for her virtual love in the UK. I did not see the program, but can only imagine how the husband , and certainly the children, must feel.
But as we already know, only the bad things are worth a program on television, that is why I deliberately missed it.

I apologize for this article, as it is again about romantic stuff in SL, and everybody is writing about these things already, but I still am intrigued by reading which different experiences we all have in the virtual world, and which conclusions we are about to take.

I always try to give an objective look on the different subjects on this blog, but will keep the really personal things to myself, besides experiences or events of course, as I believe it does not belong here on my blog.

My friends in SL are able to read sometimes between the lines, which I think is more than enough…;))


Zippora Zabelin said...

It were actually the personal blogs that made me start blogging and which I still like to read most (and one of the first I read was actually about polyamory in SL :D) Which doesn't mean that I don't like the more informative blogs, like yours ;-)
Somehow this crazy virtual life has such an impact on our first lives, that many people are struggling with it and trying to put it in words. I've said it before on my own blog: for me blogging is also a way to structure my thoughts about the whole thing.
But why public? Possibly to find people who feel the same? Or is it just a weird kind of exhibitionism? ;-)
Anyway, even though I share some quite personal thoughts, I always try to keep out private details, like names and specific incidents. That's not always easy. Posts like the one you were referring to, usually cost me 3 or 4 days of writing, thinking, deleting, rewriting and editing. So thank you for your nice comment :)
There's so much to say about this topic, I could write a whole post about it. Maybe I still should do that, as I was already thinking something similar like you, concerning some blogs I've read recently (and sorry for taking over here :P)

One more thing: the BBC documentary you are referring to is also on YouTube (split up in 4 parts). The first is here. And I was actually quite impressed after seeing it, indeed.

Cindy Kesey said...

Looker: you can view the story of the woman and her British lover in four parts on YouTube. Here is a link: The title is: Wonderland: Virtual Adultery and Cyberspace Love, Parts 1-4.

Tymmerie Thorne said...

Looker - now I understand your question to me! I understand your concern. I assure you that both Jerremy and I have very healthy real lives. I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends in RL who keep me grounded in reality. I have made many true friends in SL and Jerremy is one of them. The true friendship is very real and very strong. But we both understand where the game ends and reality begins. We both remind each other that RL is our priority and we take breaks from SL. We know it is our SL avatars getting married - not the RL people we are. I write about my SLife in my is inevitable that some SL "personal" things creep into it. I have actually learned about my RL self and things about healthy relationships while in SL that make my RL relationships even better. I hope that people do not mind hearing about that part of my SL story - it colors my perceptions of SL and would come through in my writing even if I did not ever intentionally reveal anything about my SLife.

Looker Lumet said...

I did not realize that the documentary that I was referring to, was the same one from a couple of months back, as it was only now on Belgian television, and I thought that it was a new story again. But thank you Zippora and Cindy for sharing the link.
You are right, Zippora, there is so much to write about this topic, but at the end, the conclusions will remain the same, try not to mix SL with RL.
Probably some of us are blogging just to share and to find other bloggers with the same perception of SL, or just to have that social contact with others and sharing their thoughts about common things, which is known and recognizable by everyone.
Tymmerie, I am glad to hear that you, and Zippora as well, knows that RL is your priority.
Don't you worry about your readers, they love your stories (look at the number of your daily visitors)
But the main reason why I was concerned is that I have seen already RL relationships go down the drain due to Second Life, and I don't wish that to happen to SL friends of mine. But as I already said on your blog, I am happy for the both of you. Congrats again!!;))

Anonymous said...

...and Sl-love can get a happy ending like we all saw in the documentary. Singles (or not so singles lol) do meet there match sometimes in Sl. So not only the negative side is there but also the positive side of it all. So lets keep the dream alive :)!!!



Looker Lumet said...

yes sure keep on dreaming Inex, ;)) but I am convinced that we all have to be very prudent, and decide for ourselves what we can do and what is over the edge.